By Gad, Sir: The Life and Times of Caspar Gutman:

Part One

By Brett Fawcett

Caspar Gutman is a very interesting figure who, while not as prominent in the Wold Newton universe as others, has great relevance, and is besides that a very interesting study. His lineage is too lengthy to describe in detail here [1], but suffice it to say that he was descended from royals, dukes, counts, and knights. He grew up in a wealthy household and as such was overweight at a very early age, but doctors examining him, judging by his metabolism, guessed that he could have been an athlete in his youth. Indeed, he was very mobile for someone of his weight, and was incredibly knowledgeable. He was fluent in several languages, including English, French, German, Spanish, Cantonese, Egyptian, Mayan (2), and other tongues, some now lost. He was a connoisseur in foreign alcohol, cigars, and other upper-class indulgences, and wore clothes made by some of the finest tailors money could buy. In addition, he was good with guns, a master at detecting human emotion, an expert at deception and several other things. Of course, he was the son of Professor Hans-Josef Gutman, graduate of Heidelberg University and Fellow of Oxford, a wealthy and world-renowned archeologist and historian. Since the professor was often away in a foreign land, however, he was raised largely by his father's cousin, an early "Fat Man" named Gottfried Kaspar. He grew to be very similar to both "fathers": They both had a very sophisticated manner of speech which he adapted; he inherited his near-photographic memory and vast knowledge from his father, and learned crime lingo and various ways of staying afloat in the underworld from his uncle.

Professor Gutman had inherited a small fortune, but made much of his money from funding archeological digs, publishing insightful essays, and being present at historical breakthroughs to identify the origin of artifacts. His sharp eyes were usually able to discern hieroglyphics where other experts were clueless. His naturally amused and friendly manner, not to mention his thick black beard, made his marriage in the late 1860's seem less unbelievable, despite the fact that his girth was in excess of Mycroft Holmes'. The most memorable thing he discovered, however, was not announced. It would have garnered Gutman the title of a fool or madman, but it was true nonetheless. You see, on a few of his countless archeological digs, he discovered several pieces of strange metal which were originally considered rocks until Gutman sent them through scientific tests, which revealed them to be an indestructible form of steel. Inscribed on them were worn hieroglyphics which puzzled even Gutman, therefore fascinating him. He spent the next decade poring over the images, researching them and the metal with all the passion he could muster. This led his wife to grow lonely, and she eventually had an affair with Kaspar, resulting in a son which was assumed to be the Professor's, named Sheth Gutman. After painstaking research, Gutman came to a conclusion: This ancient writing described how aliens had invaded Earth countless centuries ago and had been quietly but significantly influencing world events for all these years, and the "rocks" were metal from the alien's ships.

Although he was unable to locate the name of these extra-terrestrials, we now know that they were the Capelleans and the Eridaneans. From these scrawlings he learned of several Capellean and Eridaneans locations, and several of their achievements. Most of these are now common knowledge to the Wold Newton scholar (3), but he learned something then which even know is only recent knowledge.

Some of the engravings depicted a humanoid figure with a prominent forehead inserting a Capellean distorter into a statuette of a bird of some sort. This figure represents immortal Capellean scientist Juro, whose intellect was depicted in a large head. The distorter, as roughly shown in the hieroglyphics, sent whoever used it properly to a Capellean moonbase. Ironically, by the time Gutman discovered these writings the moonbase had long since been abandoned, but of course he had no way of knowing that. His interest eventually blossomed into obsession at identifying what this darkened bird was, and finally, he identified it as the Maltese Falcon, a jewel-encrusted statuette that had existed since before recorded time. Naturally, the Falcon was insanely coveted, not only by those who knew of the distorter but also of any wealth-seeker, as the bird was made of gold and covered in various diamonds. Gutman immediately became one of those covetous and joined the countless treasure-seekers after it. While he spent his life searching for it, however, he left Caspar and Sheth neglected and somewhat repressed. This led to their seeking companionship in one another, which is why Caspar Gutman is often seen as acting rather affectionate with men. Also, since they lived more with their mother than their parents, they adapted some rather effeminate traits, such as wearing perfume. The only thing they truly had of their father was his wealth, and as such they inherited his passionate greed, although perhaps for a more Freudian reason than him. In the early 1880's, when Caspar was around 19 and Sheth was around 15, Professor Gutman finally revealed the reason what he had been pursuing all his life, and why. I do not know what the boys thought of the story of the Capellean transporter, but when they learned of the wealth it carried they immediately hungered for it as well.

So where was the Falcon? It had been smuggled into France in 1840, stolen from Victor Amedeus and his wife by a Spaniard, who in turn lost it during the Carlist War. There, it passed through various hands, most of which had no idea of it's value, as it was concealed by black enamel. One collector, who realized that the black bird was the Maltese Falcon after selling it, announced to the world that it was in France, but no-one was sure where. In 1874, Octavious Xavier Guillemont, "the Ox" and a colleague of Professor James Moriarty, went searching for it in Paris, but never found it (4). This was because it had wound up in the hands of a man who did realize it's worth, but, of course, he had to, being a Capellean agent. His name was Aristophanes Cairo, and he owned a collector's shop in Constantinople, which hardly made any money, although he seemed perpetually wealthy. This was because his assignment was to get hold of as many Capellean artifacts as possible, so as to prevent knowledge of them spreading. His payment from the Capellean hierarchy was what kept him wealthy. They sent him to France to find the Falcon, realizing the potential damage of it being found. He had been an art lover long before he became a Capellean agent, in fact, that's why he was chosen to collect Capellean relics: Because of his vast artistic knowledge, not to mention connections. When one examines Cairo's lineage, however, it is somewhat surprising that he was not an Eridanean agent. His father was Conseil, the faithful servant of Professor Pierre Arronaxe, who accompanied him onto the Nautillus for the events the professor later chronicled as "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea". During the course of those adventures, Conseil saved his master's life more than once, and as a result was allowed to go free. He married a Levantine woman descended from the Roman emperors and moved to Greece with her, where he changed his name to the more pronounceable (for the Greeks) Cairo. Aristophanes had always been fascinated by his father's stories of Captain Nemo and when he was older studied Nemo, even discovering pieces of the Nautilus, and learned of the Capelleans and Eridaneans. They discovered this, but decided not to kill him, deciding that he could prove a useful pawn.

Aristophanes Cairo was small and nervous, not to mention helpless in a fight, but still very dangerous: He used his effeminate (and, as such, unthreatening) nature to avoid being considered a threat, had the sophistication to blend into refined society, but enough connections to float through the underworld safely. He was also very quick on his feet, able to think fast, and very adaptive, not to mention tolerant, and working with diamonds and the like had given him strong hands. He located certain Capellean locations, and was spared by them when it was realized that, with several archeological breakthroughs, the possibility of their existence being discovered by others was eminent. Cairo, delighted to work for the same people that Captain Nemo worked for, agreed to their offer almost immediately. Of course, snooping around the Earth, obtaining Capellean evidence and eliminating anyone with knowledge of it kept him away from home quite a bit, leaving his son, Joel, similarly neglected, and he spent much of his time speculating about his father's business and adventures, and about the wealth he acquired. Young Joel, you see, was aware that his father worked for the Capelleans, and it was determined that, at one point, he would as well. Aristophanes was not even present at his son's birth in the 1890's, as during that time he, like many other Capelleans, was sucked into the Si-Fan scandal, in which Capellean agent Ling Fu Shan (a.k.a. Fu Manchu) turned against his extra-terrestrial sponsors and started the Boxer Rebellion. Cairo's geographical knowledge was a large help in leading human agents throughout Asia, and he played a small role in deciding this enemy's fate. Aristophanes later told his son about this evil Oriental man who was obsessed with immortality and had an army of assassins to do his bidding. It always made young Joel shudder.

Let's trace the history of the Falcon back even further, to 1531, when the Order of the Hospital of Saint John of Jerusalem was given the island of Malta by the Emperor Charles V. The Order was to send the emperor a falcon every year in gratitude. The Order was in possession of the Maltese Falcon, but wanted to ensure that they were not going to be cheated out of their loot and then killed, so they sent the king a forgery at first. It never arrived, however: pirates lead by the notorious Captain Redbeard stole it. Later on, however, Sir Cardogan Addleton battled Redbeard and stole his loot, among it the false Maltese Falcon, which was believed to be the real one. It stayed in the Addleton family for generations, usually stashed away in an upstairs ballroom. Since it was never analyzed, it was taken for granted that it was the genuine article, but in 1886 Sir Everard Addleton finally decided to test it. He summoned the world's top expert on the Maltese Falcon- naturally, Professor Hans-Josef Gutman, who denounced it as being false, and yet another disappointment. Sir Everard immediately went out searching for the Falcon, and somehow discovered that Aristophanes Cairo was currently it's owner. Addleton sent his butler, Barnes, to steal it and bring it back. The theft was successful, but not unnoticed. Surprised and angered, Cairo gathered his best henchmen and followed Barnes back to London. On learning that he was Sir Everard's servant, he assigned his men to spy on everything remotely connected to Addleton. It was learned that he dug a hole in the grave of his ancestor, Sir Cardogan, and placed the Falcon there. His plan was to convince the world that it was rightfully his. He hired an amateur archeologist named Wilfred Patchford to dig it up- forcefully preventing any experts from looking at the barrow, knowing that they would realize that the site had been tampered with.

When Patchford discovered the Falcon, he was puzzled as to where the Falcon was made and how old he was, so he appealed to Mycroft Holmes to introduce him to his esteemed younger brother, consulting detective Sherlock Holmes. Holmes, in turn, consulted Basil Blakeney, a Diogenes Club member, who despite his youth was a controlled and mature genius who impressed even Holmes. (5) He discovered that the bird was encrusted with gold and jewels, going so far as to throw it to the floor so as to knock off the black enamel. Holmes suspected that it was the Maltese Falcon, and, naturally, went to Professor Gutman. Cairo's spies had been following Holmes, and were getting particularly tense after the statuette was discovered to be the Falcon. However, they were astonished when they arrived at Gutman's house. He was storing metal from the Capellean spaceship, which was covered in images, which told several vital secrets. Meanwhile, Gutman confirmed the Falcon as being real, to his great delight, and perhaps began scheming about stealing it himself. This was not to be, however, since as soon as Cairo learned of his Capellean artifacts, he immediately ordered his men to kill him. Shortly thereafter, he was pushed into the path of an oncoming train and died. His household was shaken by his sudden death as violently as if the train had struck them, and this, perhaps, influenced the children to become villains. Mrs. Gutman, emotionally distraught, married Gottfried Kaspar, who reminded her most of her husband. Meanwhile, the Capellean inscriptions were stolen from the house. Since their presence was not known to the public, their theft went unnoticed by the media.

With that crime successful, Cairo then sent his men to burglarize Sir Everard Addleton's house, kill him, and steal the Falcon. A blow on the head with a poker eliminated Addleton, and the Falcon was stolen, but when Cairo tested it, he found it to be a forgery. This was because Sherlock Holmes had already exchanged the two Falcons, and the real one was in Baker Street. Holmes had set a trap for Cairo, and publicly announced that he was in possession of the Falcon and that it was in his flat. That night, he waited in the streets of Baker Street with Dr. John H. Watson, Inspector Lestrade, and several constables, waiting for Cairo to make his move. The Levantine villain checkmated him, however, with the use of a fence known as "Magpie" Cook. He was the cousin of Benjamin Cook, who became chief of police in White Plains (6), and a descendant of famous explorer Captain James Cook. Magpie was involved in the delivery of the Maltese Falcon, and had worked with Cairo before; perhaps he was also working for the Capelleans. Anyhow, Cairo sent Magpie to steal the Falcon from Baker Street and keep it in a sack. He also sent his usual henchman to pose as constables. Magpie made off with the bird and was apprehended by Cairo's disguised henchmen, who quickly switched the Falcon for a sack stuffed with clothes. By the time Lestrade's men could arrest Magpie, the pseudo-police officers had made off with the loot, and with Holmes' admiration. Cairo was delighted when he saw the Falcon, and they quickly made off for Greece after covering it with black enamel. Meanwhile, Magpie went to jail, although only for a little over a decade, as all he was truly guilty of was breaking and entering. As Cairo and his men returned home, they stopped in New York, where they lost the Falcon, and it found it's way into the hands of an auctioneer who sold it to Colonel Edward Warburton, an admirer of Holmes who actually sent him the Falcon in 1889 after successfully completing a case the colonel had some connection to. (7)

Gottfried Kaspar had been keeping his eye out for news on the Maltese Falcon, as it was connected to the his cousin's demise, and learned that Holmes had again come into position with it. Being a Fat Man, he naturally was connected to the "gaslight godfather", Professor James Moriarty, and informed him of this. Moriarty, in turn, informed "The Ox", who gleefully stole it from Holmes' rooms. With that done, Moriarty killed the Ox and had the Falcon sardonically stored in his accommodations in New York-where Warburton had purchased the Black Bird. It stayed there until 1902, when the second Professor kidnapped Scott Regis Adler (the son of Sherlock Holmes and Irene Adler) and took him there.(8) One of Moriarty's men got cocky and made off with the black bird, since the professor was too busy dealing with Holmes to notice. However, he lost it in the continent, and it floated from collector's shop to collector's shop for the next nine years. But back to the Gutmans. Kaspar was actually acquainted with Cairo, who had also done business with Moriarty, using the identity of a priest named Father Ugarti (9). Around the turn of the century, Kaspar told his son and son-in-law that they were to go and survive on their own, and would be best off carrying on their father's footsteps- including the hunt for the Maltese Falcon. They both set off and did so. While Caspar had enough adventures to fill an essay, Sheth, being the biological son of Kaspar, lacked the general sophistication of the professor, although he inherited Kaspar's criminal instincts. As a result, he was much less busy than his half-brother, and had the time to father a daughter first. He eventually became an "advice-seller", and encountered Dashiell Hammett, at the time a Pinkerton detective, in Washington. He was fascinated by Gutman and began to write a novel of the course of events in which he encountered him (using mainly fictional names), but began researching his family and eventually never finished writing it. After Caspar publicized the name Gutman, Sheth adapted the alias of Sydney George Harper Carp, during which he became an alias of the mysterious Secret Agent X-9 (10). Later on, after losing much of his business after his work with X-9 was exposed, and became the corrupt sheriff of a Southern town, calling himself Titus Semple.(11)

Caspar, meanwhile, much more crafty than Sheth, tracked down all records of his father's death and learned of everyone in connection with it. He learned that Barnes had flown to America (12), not wanting to subject himself to questioning by the police. Magpie Cook was still imprisoned, and Aristophanes Cairo was still running his shop in Greece. With the help of his uncle, Caspar arranged a meeting with Cairo, hoping to learn as much about the circumstances of his father's death as possible. Gottfried Kaspar also funded his journey through the Continent, although he didn't accompany him. Along the way, Caspar Gutman encountered several gangs with established connections to Kaspar, who were obligated to help Gutman float through the underworld in order to arrive in Greece safely. They liked him, however, and many thought he would be a worthy heir to his step-father/uncle. Some, however, took advantage of his youth and wealth and leeched money off him, a decision they would one day regret. Eventually, Gutman met Cairo, much older and grayer than before, and explained that he was planning to continue his father's search for the Maltese Falcon, although at a much earlier age, and wanted as much information as he could, knowing that he had once owned it. Cairo (not feeling any pangs of guilt over seeing the son of a former murder victim of his) saw an excellent opportunity to kill several birds with one stone. He, too, had spent at least a decade searching for the elusive black bird, but was now growing older and was less energetic. An enthusiastic and rich young man had approached him explaining that he was to use his resources to search the world for it, providing a perfect way to retrieve the bird without working. Once Gutman found it, he would snuff him out as easily as he eliminated his father. There was another more personal aspect: He feared for his son's masculinity. Joel, often left at home by his busy father, had been raised by tender nurses, and adapted several of their traits, although at the time he was very young, ten at least and fourteen at oldest. He had not yet begun to wear women's clothing, but he did wear perfume and speak in a very gentle style.

What Cairo did not realize, however, is that Joel was as dangerous as he was, perhaps more. Joel had lived in isolation from his father for most of his life, and was raised to satisfy greed. It was in his nature. There was an underlying desire to satisfy his father, whom he knew so little, and, as such, a passion beneath his effeminate surface which could at times prove frightening. Also, like his father, he was small-boned and inept at fighting, but very intelligent and fast-talking, and because of his feminine nature was even less threatening, which was often an advantage. He was also good with a gun early on in life, being exposed to it so often, and had found another way to relieve the stress of his father always being away, which was excessive cigarette smoking. Cairo wanted both to prepare his son for the travels he would perform for the Capelleans and to rid him of his woman-like traits by "toughening him up". So, Cairo summoned Joel, introduced him to Gutman, and asked if Joel could accompany him on his mission, since he would like to know where it is as well. Gutman agreed, a partnership was formed, and the newly established team of Gutman and Cairo set off. The relationship was an interesting one. Gutman was fascinated by Cairo, and saw some of himself in him, while Cairo looked up to Gutman as a prominent leader, although there was never a father-son type relationship, even if Gutman was around twenty years older than Cairo. A mutual respect was established, probably largely due to the fact that Cairo hadn't the slightest idea that his father intended to kill Gutman once they found the bird. He did, however, know that his partner was not to learn of his other-worldly influence.

As they set off to search for a clue to the Falcon's existence, still financed by Kaspar, they encountered several more gangster types, who leeched off Gutman's riches, thinking that he wouldn't stand a chance in the underworld anyway and would not survive to ask to be paid back. As the years went by, however, Gutman and Cairo managed to stay afloat in the crime world while still remaining respectable social figures, art aficionados who were rumoured to have underworld connections. They did this with the help of Gutman's fortune and Cairo's art connections, and were quite successful, becoming even wealthier than before and establishing a name for themselves. The mobsters who had taken advantage of them were now forced to pay off the debt, and those who couldn't became his henchmen. As soon as they realized that they could manipulate this to their advantage, they immediately did so, and almost threw money away. In mere months, Gutman had leverage over nearly every crime gang in the Continent, and was now considered a godfather. In 1909, however, one mobster got cocky and attempted to eliminate Gutman rather than pay off the debt. While Gutman survived, he determined that he would need a bodyguard (Cairo was certainly no help). Returning to his notes, he learned of Magpie Cook, who was involved in the professor's murder, and was currently in prison. They sprung him out, on the condition that he would defend them is they were assaulted. Cook agreed, but only if he could be re-united with his wife. Reluctantly, Gutman tracked her down, but when they found her, she was married to another man. She was content with him, and refused Magpie's pleas, eventually making plans to turn him in. Angry, Magpie raped her, and shot her husband. The crime was sloppily done and Magpie was arrested and executed, but his wife did give birth, although it killed her, and the child was premature by a month. The child had no parents, biological or no, to live with, so instead he was given over as a ward to Gutman, who was the travelling companion and employer of Magpie and considered the man closest to him. Also, since he couldn't live with his late-stepfather, he was given his true father's name. Gutman decided to raise him as the perfect bodyguard, which was the purpose he had hired his father. The child was, of course, Wilmer Cook. (13)

Being raised by the perfumed and effeminate duo of Gutman and Cairo took a noticeable effect on young Cook, such as his wearing of makeup. However, he was also very tough and twice as dangerous as either of his mentors, being bitter and somewhat mentally disjointed, and inherited several criminal tendencies from his father. He was learning how guns were operated at age eight, and as such was a skilled marksman at seventeen. He was also long suffering, enduring constant globe-hopping as a youth, and short-tempered. After days of being Gutman's bodyguard, he became trigger-happy, compulsively shooting anyone who came anywhere near his overweight employer. Eventually, to calm him down, Gutman would also send him on other assignments, such as delivering messages. This helped Cook become street-wise, and his small size would make him an excellent person to send "tailing" someone else, which became his other line of work. He often received offers to work elsewhere, but clung to Gutman and Cairo- Cairo, especially, since when he was young Cairo was the only one who seemed to show any genuine concern for him when he was young (a trait he adapted from his nurses). None of this happened until several years later, however, and the next notable event happened when Wilmer was but two or three years old- when Gutman learned of his partner's true motives. It began in 1911, when Aristophanes Cairo learned of a neighbouring store owner who was rumoured to be in possession of the black bird. The owner, one Charilaos Konstantinides, was acquainted with Cairo, but knew of his obsession with the Maltese Falcon, gently refused to answer him when he asked about it. Konstantinides had, in fact, tracked it down to an obscure shop, but did not have it in his shop yet. As such, Cairo had no evidence with which to have his colleague's shop searched, and gave the matter little thought. Likewise, Konstantinides, perhaps unwisely, also gave his rival little thought afterwards after seeing that he made no attempt to search his shop. For th is reason, one year later, he announced that he was, in fact, in possession of the elusive black bird.

Cairo was one of the first to learn this fact, and he immediately sent a message to Gutman and his son, who were currently in London. He would have burglarized Konstantinides' shop himself, but didn't for several reasons: He was getting on in age, knew that the Falcon would have attracted quite a bit of publicity and was probably guarded, and, if he found the Falcon, he still had Gutman to eliminate, only then it would be much more difficult. Gutman, Joel Cairo, and young Wilmer received the message and excitedly sped for Constantinoples. Unfortunately, someone else learned about it before they did. Mere days before they arrived, Gutman and his posse learned that Konstaninides' shop had been ransacked, and the burglar had stolen the Maltese Falcon, in addition to killing its current owner. Gutman was angered at this, but Joel Cairo was astonished, particularly on seeing the scene of the crime- the subtle breaking of the lock, the method in which Konstanidies was killed- all the aspects pointed to one man: Fu Manchu, who had terrorized his dreams as a young man. He attempted to hide the fact that he knew this from Gutman, but not very successfully, and the Fat Man soon noticed Cairo's increased cigarette smoking, stammering, distracted glances, and overall tension. A calm, off-hand remark by Gutman on the topic caused Cairo to burst out in tears, and he blubbered out the truth while crying- so much, in fact, that he revealed nearly everything to him, everything that had been welling up inside him. In fact, he cried out too much information, merely because it had been killing him to keep it in. Between sobs, he explained how he was really working for aliens, that the Maltese Falcon contained a distorter, and that Fu Manchu was another of these alien agents, whom his father had helped capture. In fact, he spilled so much information that Gutman began to get suspicious.

He was correct, however. Fu Manchu, still smarting from being defeated by Nayland Smith the previous year (14), and decided to dull the pain by achieving every Capellean agent's dream: Finding the Maltese Falcon, and that famous lost distorter that once belonged to Juro. He had agents stationed in Constantinoples on hearing rumours that Konstantinides had the bird, and, like Gutman, acted immediately when he learned that the rumours were true. During the night, his men craftily broke into the shop, expecting Konstaninides to be asleep, and prepared to steal the bird. In an odd instance of history repeating itself, however, he was actually awake, and the agents were forced to kill him. It was this riot that alerted the police, but the burglars still escaped with the Falcon, although the theft of the recently re-enameled black bird was not announced in the papers. When Fu Manchu got his hands on the Falcon, he promptly had the distorter removed and placed in yet another soft-lead imitation. This was a very clever move, in that he had all the wealth of the Falcon, the much-coveted distorter, and very little chance of them both being stolen. Despite his precautions, however, one of his henchman got bold enough to steal them both. He escaped, but was tracked down by Fu Manchu and killed. Both Falcons were lost, however. Back to them later. Meanwhile, Gutman was contemplating killing Cairo, since he had withheld information from him, but as he continued to cry, Cairo mentioned that the distorter in the Falcon led to an abandoned moon base. Suddenly, Gutman was reminded of his father's talk about aliens and the Falcon. He, too, became compelled to learn more, and did so by callously asking the weeping Cairo for more information. Cairo continued to blubber that the moonbase was the location of a large vat of Capellean elixir. This got Gutman delighted (and, of course, explained why Fu Manchu wanted to go there), and he soon forgave the pathetic Cairo, even encouraging him in hopes of gaining more information. Aristophanes Cairo, meanwhile, was being eyed suspiciously by local authorities, so he fled to California, where he established a new life as a jeweler. Philip Marlowe briefly visited him, asking him to make a counterfeit string of pearls. (15)

Eventually, Cairo recovered, and was not fully aware of what happened during his cry. Gutman explained that he now knew the truth, but was willing to compromise with Cairo's superiors. Somewhat miserable but with little choice, Cairo agreed, and arranged a conference with some minor members of the Capellean hierarchy. They were charmed and amused by the reasonable and intelligent Gutman, and after some deliberation which rose up through the ranks of the hierarchy, it was determined that Gutman was on good terms with the Capelleans, and was something of an ally with them. If Gutman located the Maltese Falcon and gave it to them, he would be allowed to keep it's riches and wealth. He agreed, and Gutman, Cairo, and young Wilmer set off to continue their quest. (It is unknown whether Wilmer ever learned of the aliens. If so, his caretaker, Cairo, most likely told him.) They roamed about the world for the next decade, and about 1915 Gutman sired a daughter in San Francisco, although I do not know the mother's identity or whether she was born out of marriage or wedlock. Her name was Rhea, and she inherited her grandfather's dark black hair. She accompanied her father and his associates on their missions, although she was often mistreated and never really cared for, indicating that hers was not a wanted pregnancy. She later became among those who used the alias of Catwoman. (16) Near the end of the decade (1918 or so), Gutman left Cairo to take care of Wilmer and Rhea in Europe and personally headed for the East.


[1] Instead, I have done so in another essay, entitled "The 'Bloated Idiots': The Fat Men of the Gut Family". (forthcoming)

[2] An upcoming essay will be describing the history of the Mayan culture. I know of only five other people who speak Mayan: Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Grimesby Roylott, Sir Humphrey Thurston, Dr. Clark James Savage, Junior, and Professor William Harper Littlejohn. Professor George Edward Challenger and Lord John Roxton may also have known this lost tongue, but I do not know for sure at this date.

[3] Please see Dennis Power's "Aliens Among Us!: Capelleans and Eridaneans".

[4] For more information, see J.T. Edson's "The Quest for Bowie's Blade".

[5] This was because Blakeney was a fellow Wold Newton family member, being descended from Sir Percy Blakeney, more commonly known as the Scarlet Pimpernel. Ironically, this makes him and Holmes distant relatives, as Sir Percy was Holmes' great-grandfather (on his mother's side) and a friend of his other great-grandfather (on his father's side); they were both present at the meteor Wold Newton meteor strike.

[6] For more information, see the first Nero Wolfe novel, Fer-de-Lance by Archie Goodwin, edited by Rex Stout.

[7] Warburton's interest in Holmes was sparked in 1887, when relatives of his encountered Holmes (and Doctor Who) in 1887, as seen in "All Consuming Fire", edited by Andy Lane. The events of 1889 which involved Colonel Warburton himself were only noted by Watson, and were made into a story entitled "The Madness of Colonel Warburton" by Dashiell Hammett, who ironically wrote "The Maltese Falcon". It was edited by Carole Bugge and appeared in The Game is Afoot by Marvin Kaye. The events of the Addleton tragedy (referenced in "The Adventure of the Golden Pince-Nez", edited by Arthur Conan Doyle) were edited by Carolyn Wheat and appeared in "The Game is Afoot: New Tales of Sherlock Holmes" as "The Adventure of the Rara-Avis" The Capellean artifacts are not mentiond, however, since Watson had no notion of their existence.

[8] Moriarty had spirited Scott away to force him to live an isolated existence as an alien-fighting government agent (for more information, see my "Professor Moriarty and the British Secret Service"). R.D. Benson wrote the novel "Sherlock Holmes in New York" based on newspaper clippings about the adventure, and it was made into a film starring Roger Moore. Scott later became known as Redlock Regis (see "The Adamantine Sherlock Holmes") and Marko Vukcic (see the Nero Wolfe novels).

[9] See the Moriarty novel The Great Game by Michael Kurland for appearances by Kaspar and "Ugarti".

[10] He was likely not the same character as Secret Agent X (aka Secret Agent Ecks), who was present at a certain gun battle at Tombstone and forged his death along with the likes of Dr. Fu Manchu, Doc Savage, James Bond, The Shadow, G-8, The Spider, and The Lone Ranger. For more information, see Philip Jose Farmer's Greatheart Silver, as well as Brad Mengel's excellent "Fakeout at Shootout", which presents a theory I agree with. For other suggestions, please see Art Bollman's excellent "The Greatheart Silver Problem" and Matthew Baugh's "The Grandith, Caliban, and Greatheart Silver Universe". X-9 is currently using the name of Secret Agent Corrigan, although it's questionable if that is his true identity.

[11] For more information, see the play "Flamingo Road" by Robert and Sally Wilder, as well as the movie adaptation in 1949 (starring Sydney Greenstreet as Semple) and the soap opera series with the same name.

[12] One of his descendants became involved in a strange medical operation in the distant future. For more information, see my upcoming essay "Doctor, Doctor: The Medical Society in the Wold Newton Universe".

[13] It's been speculated that Wilmer was the illegitimate child of Caspar Gutman, explaining some of his comments about the young gunman being "like a son".

[14] See "The Insidious Dr. Fu Manchu", by Dr. John Flinders Petrie, edited by Sax Rohmer.

[15] See "Red Wind", by Philip Marlowe, edited by Raymond Chandler. When it first appeared in Dime Detective Magazine, Marlowe's was called John Dalmas, although it was restored for later publications. For more information, see my upcoming "The Philip Marlowe Chronology".

[16] For more information, see my upcoming article "Purr-Fect".

© 2003 Brett Fawcett